Where did the blog go? - Leaving Thailand

It's been a long time since I updated my blog but I'm about to start getting it back up to date. There are a couple of reasons why I haven't updated it for so long. First, the last week or so in Thailand was bit of a challenge (understatement of the century) so I didn't have any urge to update my blog. Second, in the last 4 weeks I have been so busy that I just haven't had the time.

I left Thailand on 26th October and since then I've been to Bangkok again, Vietnam, Singapore, Australia arriving in Buenos Aires on 24th November. I think the best way to get this blog back on track will be to take things in chronological order. Fortunately I've been logging in a journal so not a lot will be forgotten although, as always, some things will be left out seeing as my mother reads this blog ;0)

After Phi Phi island we headed to Phuket arriving on Tuesday 7th October with a view to staying a day or so before heading to a surfing beach nearby. Pretty much everyone we had spoken to about Phuket had described it as hell on earth but on first impression I thought it was one of the nicest placest I've been to in Thailand.

I now think of it as a combination of heaven and hell. I spent about 3 weeks on Phuket in total, most of which was absolutely awesome. I stayed in some great hotels for next to nothing, had a quality little moped, was right next to the beach and enrolled in a local gym. I met some new friends who I hope I'll stay in touch with for a long time and I had a few brilliant dives to add to my tally. So for the most part it was bliss and I had the chance to take it completely easy.

The last week was probably one of the hardest weeks I've been through and I was very close to throwing the towel in and coming home. Since Thailand, just over 4 weeks ago, I've been to so many different places and had so many different experiences that it seems like a bit of a blur. It will be really hard to catch up on this blog but I'll make sure that I get as much as possible done over the next couple of weeks so I can update on South America as we go.

To summarise Thailand, I would say that it has been my favourite country so far. It's got so much to offer such as beautiful, untouched national parks, gigantic limestone cliffs both in the ocean and inland, stunning islands and breath taking beaches. The culture is great and although there are many annoyances the people are generally very friendly and welcoming. There are places to party, places to chill out, awesome cuisine and chances to explore all over the country. The diving is also the best I've experienced so far, even better than the Great Barrier Reef.

In my mind, it wouldn't be a bad thing to go back to Thailand towards the end of my trip but I won't be taking that decision lightly and want to see a lot of South America first.

Phi Phi Island

We caught the ferry from Ao Nang to Koh Phi Phi Don early doors on 3rd October. Most people know about Phi Phi as it was where The Beach was filmed a few years ago with Leonardo Decaprio. It's made up of two small islands, Phi Phi Don and Phi Phi Ley of which only Don is inhabited. We arrived on Don pretty early and had to find somewhere to stay as we hadn't booked anything, so we were walking around for a bit with our rucksacks on in the blistering heat which isn't exactly fun. There's a couple of things that set Phi Phi apart from some of the other locations in Thailand, firstly both islands are absolutely stunning and second there are supposed to be no vehicles.

Apart from a couple of mopeds that rings true but it still doesn't stop loads of Thai's trying to run you over with their push bikes. There's shit loads of them, most of the bikes are a mess and it's not unusual to see a guy on the gayest, pinkest bike with a basket on the front. Anyhoo, we haven't done a lot on Phi Phi yet apart from loads of sunbathing, getting pissed, watching dodgy Thai boxing and a half day trip. I have to say, the night life is awful. There's a few nice beach bars but they are just pumping out the biggest pile of shite music I've ever heard so we're getting a bit pissed off with that.

One of the most entertaining bars is Reggae Bar, which incidentally has no Reggae influence whatsoever, as it hosts Thai Boxing every night. This is not the same level of Thai Boxing we watched in Bangkok, it's basically holidaymakers kicking the living shit out of each other. It's absolutely mental that it's allowed as most fights end up with a couple of guys throwing haymakers at each other with the end result being one of them getting sparked out. There was one Irish guy who fights every night, and to give him credit he wins most fights as he's clearly done it before. The guy is a total cock end though and he's strutting round the place like some kind of Kung Fu warrier.

Anyway, he had two fights that we saw on the first night, the second fight being with a handy professional Thai Boxer. T'was quite funny seeing the little Irish prick having the shit kicked out of him. The only downside is that there's inevitably a fight between two so called professionals but it's a proper fix like WWF so it's very disappointing. The Thai staff weren't too happy with the boos coming from the crowd, namely from me and Kev.

The highlight of Phi Phi had to be the half day trip that we embarked upon on the second day. There were three main activities: snorkeling with sharks, cliff jumping and a trip over to Maya Bay on Phi Phi Ley where The Beach was filmed. After kitting us out with masks and fins Owen, our Thai guide, took us down to the pier and piled us into a long boat to head out for the shark snorkeling. It wasn't very far and we were soon in the water snorkeling in crystal clear waters looking for sharks. Almost immediately Owen popped up and said he caught sight of one. I was right behind him and to be honest I thought he was taking the piss as I couldn't see anything.

A few minutes later we started to see loads of them. They were black tip reef sharks I think between 3 and 4 feet long. I have to say I shit my pants the first time I clapped eyes on one as they were really close and they looked like mean little fuckers. Harmless apparently though - my arse! I would say we must have had around 20 sightings but of the same 6 or seven sharks and it was such an awesome experience to be so close to them. Both Kev and I had a few moments when they started circling us and in particular in the last 5 minutes we both decided it was time to retreat as one swam past with it's mouth open.

After that we headed to another small island to do some cliff jumping which, for the uneducated, is jumping off cliffs into the sea! There were 3 jumps that we were allowed to do, 8 metres, 10 metres and 12 metres. 8 metres doesn't seem that high but it kind of does when you're standing on the edge of a cliff but we both did that one no bother. Kev was unscathed but I thought I'd popped an eardrum or something so decided to take 5 minutes and jump from 8 metres again. In that time Kev had done the 10m and 12m jumps; I managed a couple of 10m jumps and decided that was about enough for me.

Maya Bay was absolutely stunning although it looked totally different than in The Beach but apparently it was digitally enhanced and it was damaged quite severely in the Tsunami. We hung around there for a bit and then tried to catch the sunset, which we missed, before heading back to our resort. The whole thing was filmed by Owen and we watched it back afterwards which was pretty cool but we aren't buying it coz were tight arses. That's about all we've done on Phi Phi as we've spent the last couple of days lying on the beach - I hate Mondays!!! Next we're off to Phuket for a night before we go to Hat Rai which is a surfing beach really close to Phuket town, can't wait for that...

Khoa Sok National Park

We finally left Ko Toa on 30th September to head for Khao Sok National Park where we had booked a two day trek. The last couple of days in Ko Toa were pretty chilled; we sunbathed a bit, had another Muay Thai boxing session and got pissed. We also ate at 'Hippo' restaurant for about the 234th time running - chicken skewers were top notch and we kind of built up a bit of rapore with the lady boy waiter which kept drawing Kev back.

So we checked out and headed to Mae Head pier to catch a fast boat to Ko Samui, then the 6pm ferry to Surat Thani where we'd be staying the night before getting picked up the following morning for the trek. All of the travel agents were trying to get up to take a longer route but we'd worked out the quickest way ourselves and bough the ferry ticket separately. Everyone is on the take, even the bloody travel agents!

On arrival at Surat Thani, we jumped in a taxi and asked for the 100 Islands Resort with a few others heading for the centre. There was an old Thai guy sitting behind us and he just wouldn't stop coughing which was really starting to wind Kev up. Kev asked how far it was to our resort and the driver said 84k! We thought it would be about 5 mins so were a bit pissed that we'd have to endure 84k with the coughing cock end!

Anyway, we arrived at the National Park at about 10.30am and were greeted by a nice Dutch chap called William. The drive into the park was amazing, when we weren't asleep, with superb scenery pretty much all of the way. There were huge limestone hills similar to the ones found at Railey Beach and around a lot of Thailand. Apparently, according to William, about 25 million years ago they were all coral reefs, pushed up in later years by tectonic shifts (every day's a school day). Anyway, limestone cliffs are common throughout Thailand, Vietnam and China so we'll hopefully see some more sights before we leave South East Asia.

After we met up with another few people to join the trek, we were frog marched off down to the river which was about 5 minutes walk. The resort looked pretty basic with rustic bungalows but we'd have to wait a bit to check in. At the river we were greeted by our guide, a tiny Thai chap who was charged with paddling the canoe with Kev and I in the front. The river was pretty cool with loads of overhanging trees and fairly quick currents. We didn't see a lot of wildlife, except a frog and some fish, and we couldn't feel our legs after about 10 minutes with pins and needles, but all in all it was a good experience. Took loads of photos but looking back they all look exactly the same so I'll only post a couple on facebook.

After the canooing we stopped off for a bit of lunch close to the river and where the next trek would start, an elephant trek. After some nice Thai fodder, the elephants started to roll back into the resort after completing an earlier trek. There must have been about 20 elephants and everyone was in awe taking photos and feeding them. After a bit of spiel from William about the history of these particular elephants and the tribes people that look after them we were ready to get onto our elephant. To cut a long story short, the tribesmen have looked after elephants for generations, they used to be used for logging but as that's not allowed anymore in Thailand they cart rich westerners round the jungle for an hour or so, blah blah blah!

So we finally mounted our elephant with the little Thai man riding on the elephant's head with his legs behind his ears, and Kev and I got on a seat tied to the elephants back. The driver had a sort of stick with a hook to keep the elephant on course and to hit him with if he's being naughty. You might think that sounds a bit cruel, and I guess we did too, but surely it's no worse than strapping a massive seat onto his back and making him carry about 40 stone in weight around the jungle. So after a bit of a moral tangle, we were carted round the jungle by Nellie and his assistant. It really was an awesome experience, although we didn't see a lot of wildlife, just being so close to such beautiful animals.

After the elephant ride we were greeted by our guide for the rest of the trip, a young Thai girl called Kong, probably about 25 years old. That afternoon we were taken to a nice waterfall and to 'monkey temple' where, as you might guess, there were a lot of monkeys at a temple. They were wild monkeys, scores of them in fact, and we fed them bananas, the little twats were just taking them out of our hands, pretty cool I say. We have loads of photos of all of this so I'll post some on facebook to piss you all off, hahaha.

The next day, a jungle trek was on the agenda. Unfortunately only I made it as Kev was a bit worse for wear so Kong, myself and another Thai fella headed for the jungle and a pretty steep hill. It was a gorgeous day, heading out at about 9am we reached a small park office shortly after and headed for the jungle, bamboo stick in hand. The bamboo was to fight off tigers according to Kong but it was really to help Kong walk up the hill as she was knackered after about 5 minutes. I have to say that there wasn't a great deal to see in the jungle except some trees (no shit), a lot of plants, a couple of lizards and a squirrel. Nevertheless, it was good exercise and I was pretty shattered afterwards. The highlight had to be 'The Big Tree', which was named by the local Thais as it's a tree and it's pretty big, genius!

After the trek, I had to ask Kong if it would be possible for the chef not to feed us as the quantity of the food being served was ridiculous and all we were after was some fruit. She was ok about that but I think the chef was a little offended but we're trying to eat healthily and fried food every day is kind of off the menu. After a bite to eat we were taken to our next destination, Ao Nang which is very near to where we started at Railey Beach. We stayed in a pretty low key hotel with basic mod cons and after checking in we took a long boat to Tonsai Beach which is the exact same place that we visited straight after Bangkok.

We'd both forgotten how awesome the boat ride into Tonsai was with it's massive limestone cliffs covered in greenery, crystal clear green waters and white beaches. We only had a couple of hours to spend on Tonsai as the last long boat departs at 6pm but we wanted to go back and see some of the local guys that we met at The Kasbah. Even though we'd only been away from Tonsai for about 3 weeks we were both shocked at how much it has changed. New bars were being built everywhere and Kasbah had closed - unbelievable how things are developing so fast. We met up with a couple of the guys for a few hours then headed back to Ao Nang for the evening. We had a pretty quiet night and caught the ferry to Phi Phi the next day.

Koa Toa ctd

We're still in Ko Toa having moved to a different part of the island on Sairee beach but we're thinking of staying for another couple of nights before moving on to somewhere else. We were looking to head to Ko Samet and Ko Chang, two small islands South of Bangkok, but after a bit of research they sound like mini Ko Samui's so a wide berth is required.

So we're at a bit of a cross roads right now; we could either go back over to the East and head to Phi Phi, or we could head up North to do a bit of trekking - decisions decisions ;0). Kev and I will only be travelling together for another couple of weeks as Laura is coming over to see Kev on 13th Oct so we'll be travelling solo for a bit, meeting up again in Vietnam to finish off South East Asia.

Yesterday I finished my 2 day advanced scuba diving course which means I can dive to 30m. The course was purely practical, no classroom work and 5 dives in total. On the first day we took part in 3 dives. The first dive was all about buoyancy and we had to carry out a few exercises such as swimming through a small square without touching the sides. The second was navigational with a few exercises again using a compass and getting back to the boat. The third was a night dive which was the most memorable dive of the day.

On the night dive we caught the dive boat at about 6.30pm just as the sun was going down and it was practically pitch black when we got into the sea. There were 5 of us with our instructor, all armed with torches and a bit of apprehension to boot. To be honest I was pretty shit scared but it didn't take long to settle down. In terms of wildlife, we didn't see much except a few sting rays and barracuda but it was a totally surreal experience being underwater in the dark. Just before surfacing, we all got in a circle on the ocean floor and switched our torches off. We all waved our arms around for bit and there was a fantastic light show with all of the plankton and spores lighting up - that was probably the best bit of the dive. Surfacing was a bit hairy as the sea was pretty choppy and it was hard to see the boat and each other but fortunately we all got out of the water safely. Pleased I've done it but I don't think I'll be bothered about doing another night dive.

Yesterday we had the two best dives to date. There were only 3 of us, myself, Craig and our instructor, Gannon. The first dive was the deep dive where we were due to descend below 18m for the first time. We actually went to 28m which is only 2m off the allowed limit so we were pretty deep. The ocean changes so much with just a few extra metres and we saw all sorts of different wildlife. Mainly, I finally got to see a turtle; a green turtle about 1m long, he was huge! The second dive was called a naturalist dive which essentially entailed us doing whatever we wanted with Craig and I leading the dive. We saw all sorts of stuff again including sting rays, a sea snake and loads of obscure smaller fish including a box fish and a few clown fish. For me, the best thing about the last two dives was that I finally sorted out my buoyancy to the point where I was just hanging weightlessly looking at all of the weird plants and animals; awesome!

In the afternoon Kev and I endured another Thai boxing session after having a look around the island on mopeds. To be fair, I could hardly walk after the last session as my calf muscles have pretty much ceased to function but I went for it anyway. I found the second session miles harder than the first, even the 10 minute skipping session at the start has us sweating buckets. The little bastard instructor really pushed me, he knew I had nothing left in the tank but he kept laughing and making work harder - fair play to him. Think I'm going to have a day off today and have one more session tomorrow.

I think it's about time for me to catch a few rays now. I might even treat myself to a massage after a session in the gym (Mother, it'll be a nice old Thai lady not a 'special massage' in case you're worried :0). Can't be arsed doing much tonight as I'm still tired after a good few days of exercise but I get the feeling it's time to move on from Ko Toa

Ko Toa

Ko Toa is a really small island north of Ko Pangan. From Samui we paid 500 Baht each and caught a high speed catamarang to Ko Toa via Pangan which took about 1 and a half hours, pretty quick considering it takes about 40 mins to get to Samui from Pangan on a normal ferry. Both of us were absolutely delighted to leave Samui and we had been hearing pretty good things about Ko Toa so things were looking up.

I was still a bit under the weather on arrival and hadn't touched a drink in a few days and to be honest I was, and still am, pretty bored of getting wrecked all of the time. So I had been thinking about signing up for a 4 day scuba diving course as a few people that we've met are divers and recommended I give it a try. On arrival at Mae Haad pier, I walked into Easy Divers and sat down with Gannon, an american instructor who talked us through the pricung structure and what the PADI Open Water course entails. It costs about 150 GBP for a 4 day couse, 6 dives and 4 nights accomodation which is pretty cheap for the course and it's supposed to be cheaper than most places in the world.

The accomodation we're staying in is easily the most rustic we've had. A small bugalow with double bed, dodgy bathroom in the middle of a small jungle. Fortunately we upgraded to air con and we're the first hut on the resort so we're doing well escaping contact with all of the critters. A couple of Australian lads we met were staying a bit further up the resort and had been eaten alive by mosquitos, had rats eating in their bungalow and had the pleasure of living with a couple of resident spiders.... so I think we're doing ok with a few mozzies, ants and roaches.

So, I had ahead of me two 8.30am starts in the classroom follwed by a 7.30am start for the last day of diving. All of the academic stuff is a load of bollocks. We've watched too many videos of amercianised bull shit it was starting to get tiresome. Fortunately, Gannon is a quality instructor and talked through the techincal stuff in baby talk and we all started to get our heads round it. There were 5 of us in the class, myself, Craig from the Isle of Man, Lyle from Sydney and Sally and Leanne from the UK. It was a pretty good group to be fair and we worked well as a team.

On the first day the plan was to take a boat ride to one of the small bays on the south side of Ko Toa. Kev joined us to go snorkling, he didn't sign up for the course as he's tried it before and suffered from claustrophobia. After getting geared up, we had to jump in the water and swim to the shallows, keeping afloat while we waited for everyone else. We had to breathe through our regulators on the way to the shore to practise. For the first 5 minutes I thought that there would be no way that I could do it, I found it really difficult to breathe out through the regulator. Moreover, we had to take our masks off and breathe through the regulator and I could help but try to breathe through my nose so I was getting a bit worried that I wouldn't be able to do it.

After that, we had to go down about 2m in the shallows and do a few excercises. I was starting to get the hang of it a bit by then so I was gaining confidence and starting to enjoy it. We took a swim underwater back to the boat for about 10 mins for a bit of a fun dive before getting back on the boat. After a shaky start I was really starting to enjoy it. We had another dive later that day and since then I've had 4 proper dives in total with 2 fun dives. I've seen about 4 or 5 different sites, loads of lushreefs and beautiful fish, a 3 clown fish (nemos), 2 sting rays and a sea snake. I passed the exam so now I'm certified as an PADI Open Water diver which means I can dive to 18m anywhere in the world with no professional assistance. I enjoyed it that much I'm starting a 2 day advanced course tomorrow which will enable me to dive to 30m and go on night dives. There's no classroom bollocks, it's just 5 dives in 2 days, can't wait ;0)

I've had a day off from diving today so went out for a few beers with Kev last night, didn't have a late one though. Today, we've caught a bit of sun and grabbed a bite to eat, but the hightlight was a 1 hour Muay Thai Boxing training session at the local ring with some local trainers. Fuck me those guys worked us hard, ended up dripping in sweat hardly able to stand up. I have a grading in Muay Thai so it was coming back to me a bit with the roundhouse kicks; we've both signed up for another 3 sessions so looking forward to them.

Ko Toa is beautiful. It's a proper diving resort so there aren't many dick heads and it's not overly commercial. Given that the diving's awesome and we're both into Thai Boxing I reckon we might be staying here for a few more days.

Ko Samui - hell, if there was such a thing

From Ko Pangan we took a small ferry from the port closest to our hotel at Haad Rin. The sun was shining and we were feeling hopeful at the prospect of new surroundings and some new discoveries. Hope that remained unextinguished until the sun went down and we discovered the real Samui.


The ferry ride took about an hour and we arrived in Samui having benefited from about an hour's sun to top up our tans. We jumped in a taxi with a couple of British lads and arrived safely at our new hotel, AKWA. We were greeted by Shane, an Australian, who appeared to be a nice chap bringing us up to speed on local amenities and hotel procedures... later we found out he was a useless twat but that's of no interest really.


It was about a 5 minute walk to our room which was located in AKWA 2. The room was awesome, except for a double bed again, with a DVD player, hot shower, air con.. really good for the price. We got showered and had a look out to the beach. We stayed on Chewang beach which is the most popular resort in Samui. The beach is about 6k long and stretches as far as the eye can see. We went on a reccy and first impressions were that Samui is pretty cool despite what everyone says and we were pretty happy with everything we saw. We took in some sun, had a few drinks and took a wander back to the hotel to get ready to check out the nightlife.


Come evening time, my impression of Samui had changed from 'contemporary Thai paradise' to' biggest shit hole I've ever had the pleasure of frequenting'. For me, 4 things sum up Samui: Whores, Tailors, Hawkers and Taxis. Let's start with the tailors..... So in Samui, there are more tailors than in Bangkok, New York and London put together, I mean there's shit loads of them. Not many are of Thai origin but ALL of them are standing in the street touting for business. "This is the right place for you sir, come inside 5 minute". The first tailor to stop us was met by two very patient, outgoing and enthusiastic British travellers... The last tailor was lucky he didn't get his face smashed in....


The first guy had a chat with us and both of our responses were similar, "we're traveling, we haven't got room in our back packs etc etc". I mean, why would anyone want to by a shitty suit when their traveling, it just defies all logic for me. Even though the nice chap said he could post the suit back to us we both politely declined and said we might have a look back tomorrow. Two minutes later, we're having the same conversation with another tailor, then another, then another... you get the picture, there's loads of these annoying little fuckers. They even shake your hand and don't let go. The only way to avoid such a confrontation is to ignore them completely, and then they have the cheek to act offended. I changed my behaviour towards them before Kev who was a bit more patient. My tact was something like this: Tailor - "sir, this is the right place for you, come inside 5 minute"; Me - "why, do you serve food? we're going for something to eat. so unless you serve food how the fuck is this the right place for me dick head"..... Anyway, that's not exactly how I want to behave overall so I think you might start to get the picture as to why we only stayed for 2 nights, 2 nights in Hell!

No need to elaborate on the other major annoyances. Hawkers aren't too bad, you get used to every taxi driver beeping at you and shouting "taxi, taxi" even after you have just stepped out of one. Whores you can put up with for a while but there were no other bars to drink in except a couple of scabby English pubs which aren't exactly what we're looking for. So in summary, there's fuck all to do on Chewang beach unless you're looking to pay for sex, get a new suit, buys some shit off a hawker or get a taxi ride.

We gave Samui the benefit of the doubt on the last day and hired mopeds to ride around the island. The island really is beautiful with loads of long sandy beaches and quiet resorts. I guess if you're looking for a really quiet holiday, staying in one place, Samui might be worth a look. The best part was when we found a small town with a big port call Lipa Noi. There wasn't a westerner in sight and we stumbled upon an open air food market, got some Thai food and sat and took in the surroundings, that's what travelling is about to me, not commercialised shite you can see in the UK. The rest of the evening was pretty awful and we were both looking forward to making tracks to Ko Toa the following day.

Full schmoon party

It's been so long since I've updated my blog I'll have to do it in three.

To start off I'll cover the last few days in Ko Pangan... So we went to the full moon party, full of beans and excited at the prospect of a good party. We'd been to our favourite bar, Mellow Mountain Bar, for a few shandies and there was loads of prep going on with the local Thia's putting up stages and setting up sound systems. So at first, it looked like there was a bit of potential there for a decent party although Kev and I were still sceptical considering the shite we'd been putting up with for the last few days.

On arrival at the beach our nightmare was realised; 8 sound systems playing equally cheesy commercial wank dance music, all overlapping - what kind of tit likes that kind of night, unreal. The recently built stage which we thought had potential was the setting for a psy trance gathering. For those of you who don't know what psy trance is, it's goa hippy trance music for middle class dick heads who don't know their arse from their elbow. It was good in 1982 for about an hour but the Ko Pangan massive seem to lap it up, fucking arseholes!!!

The only option was to head up to our favourite Mellow Mountain Bar thinking it'd be up to it's usual standard, blasting out quality house tracks, good atmosphere and good banter with the local Thai bar staff. Low and behold, it seemed to be a spill out area for all of the dick heads from the main party who were tired of drinking 200 Baht buckets of shit spirits and fancied a nice mushroom shake from Thailand's finest psychedelic fungi... And they were charging 20 Baht to go to the toilet, which incidentally are on a par with the infamous Scottish water closet in Trainspotting. Anyway, we got pissed up and had a laugh anyway, mainly at other peoples' expense but some it can't be helped sometimes ;0)

So, as anticipated, the full moon party was a crock of shit but that didn't stop us enjoying the last last few days in Ko Pangan. It really is a beautiful island and we fortunately got to see most of it a couple of days later when we hired a couple of mopeds and drove up to the top of the island. It's the best way to see proper Thailand, getting out of the main commercial resorts and seeking a bit of local culture. We drove all the way up the east coast in about an hour, the island is so small it can be done in about 20 minutes. There were loads of nice, quiet resort with gorgeous, deserted beaches and quality bars, perfect for a romantic holiday. Considering that, we decided to head off to Ko Samui for a few days as we didn't really fancy a gay couple of days together, well I didn't anyway, haha

On the way back to our resort we also seen about 5 elephants which were the ones used for elephant trekking. We paid about 50 Baht to feed them and got some quality photos. It's nice to see something like an elephant but it was a bit off putting as they were clearly being exploited, chained to a pole looking old and ragged... Nevertheless, it was awesome to see and feed them.

Two weeks of carnage had taken it's toll and I had a really bad throat and swollen uvula and decided to visit the doctor. I have to say it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences for me yet. It cost 2000 Baht to even so the doctor, about 30 GBP, and that was without the fees for medicine. There was a strange little Thai woman at reception who asked "do you want to see doctor 2000 Baht". I waited about 5 minutes and the doctors door opened, a hand peeked out and waved me in. Inside the room I was starting to question whether the surgery was a legitimate practise. The doctor had a surgeon's mask on, sat in a strange plastic red chair and there was medication boxed up everywhere - a complete shit hole to be honest.

On the information card I had recorded "sore throat and uvulitis" as I've had it before I knew what I needed, antibiotics. He lay me flat on a black leather doctor's bed and had a look into my throat and concluded that I had a throat infection - no shit sherlock! Next he said "doctor need to take blood, find out what infection is and doctor can treat well". I was thinking, 'fuck me why does he need to take blood, how is he going to find out what it is without sending it to a lab', but I let him take it anyway. Then he disappeared into a room for about 10 minutes with my blood sample and returned announcing the latin name of my infection by which time I was pretty sure he was a fake quack with a few psychological issues.

All the same, I let him continue as my throat was fucked and I needed it sorted. Next on the bill was an antibiotics injection.... i was shitting my self at this point as I thought it was standard practise to give out a week's worth of tablets. I let him continue as this is Thailand and not the UK and he pulled out a massive needle with loads of yellowish liquid inside. The needle must've been an inch and a half long and I was sure it was going to be a lethal injection and I'd be on Sky News in a couple of days. I don't mind injections but I have to say this one was a fecking killer, I mean it was totally painful and uncomfortable. He gave me 3 different types of tablet and said I had to come back for another injection at 6pm!!! For fuck's sake!

I hobbled off to meet Kev who was pissing himself as I couldn't really walk or sit still. We sat in the sun for a bit before I headed back for injection number 2. Dr then pulled my shorts down to reveal a massive bruise where the first injection went in and chuckled to himself "oh dear doctor mistake" while pulling out another massive needle full of lethal injection! In my mind, that sort of vocabulary should simply not be allowed in the medical world. Injection number 2 was even more painful than the first and I hobbled off with my tail between my legs hoping to stay alive for the next 24 hours..... The whole experience cost me about 100 GBP and a couple of bruises but it was worth it as I'm back to full health now!

By this time we were both ready for a change of scenery and we booked travel and accommodation for Ko Samui for 2 nights even though we were warned that it is the biggest shit hole since Stockton town centre.