Full schmoon party

It's been so long since I've updated my blog I'll have to do it in three.

To start off I'll cover the last few days in Ko Pangan... So we went to the full moon party, full of beans and excited at the prospect of a good party. We'd been to our favourite bar, Mellow Mountain Bar, for a few shandies and there was loads of prep going on with the local Thia's putting up stages and setting up sound systems. So at first, it looked like there was a bit of potential there for a decent party although Kev and I were still sceptical considering the shite we'd been putting up with for the last few days.

On arrival at the beach our nightmare was realised; 8 sound systems playing equally cheesy commercial wank dance music, all overlapping - what kind of tit likes that kind of night, unreal. The recently built stage which we thought had potential was the setting for a psy trance gathering. For those of you who don't know what psy trance is, it's goa hippy trance music for middle class dick heads who don't know their arse from their elbow. It was good in 1982 for about an hour but the Ko Pangan massive seem to lap it up, fucking arseholes!!!

The only option was to head up to our favourite Mellow Mountain Bar thinking it'd be up to it's usual standard, blasting out quality house tracks, good atmosphere and good banter with the local Thai bar staff. Low and behold, it seemed to be a spill out area for all of the dick heads from the main party who were tired of drinking 200 Baht buckets of shit spirits and fancied a nice mushroom shake from Thailand's finest psychedelic fungi... And they were charging 20 Baht to go to the toilet, which incidentally are on a par with the infamous Scottish water closet in Trainspotting. Anyway, we got pissed up and had a laugh anyway, mainly at other peoples' expense but some it can't be helped sometimes ;0)

So, as anticipated, the full moon party was a crock of shit but that didn't stop us enjoying the last last few days in Ko Pangan. It really is a beautiful island and we fortunately got to see most of it a couple of days later when we hired a couple of mopeds and drove up to the top of the island. It's the best way to see proper Thailand, getting out of the main commercial resorts and seeking a bit of local culture. We drove all the way up the east coast in about an hour, the island is so small it can be done in about 20 minutes. There were loads of nice, quiet resort with gorgeous, deserted beaches and quality bars, perfect for a romantic holiday. Considering that, we decided to head off to Ko Samui for a few days as we didn't really fancy a gay couple of days together, well I didn't anyway, haha

On the way back to our resort we also seen about 5 elephants which were the ones used for elephant trekking. We paid about 50 Baht to feed them and got some quality photos. It's nice to see something like an elephant but it was a bit off putting as they were clearly being exploited, chained to a pole looking old and ragged... Nevertheless, it was awesome to see and feed them.

Two weeks of carnage had taken it's toll and I had a really bad throat and swollen uvula and decided to visit the doctor. I have to say it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences for me yet. It cost 2000 Baht to even so the doctor, about 30 GBP, and that was without the fees for medicine. There was a strange little Thai woman at reception who asked "do you want to see doctor 2000 Baht". I waited about 5 minutes and the doctors door opened, a hand peeked out and waved me in. Inside the room I was starting to question whether the surgery was a legitimate practise. The doctor had a surgeon's mask on, sat in a strange plastic red chair and there was medication boxed up everywhere - a complete shit hole to be honest.

On the information card I had recorded "sore throat and uvulitis" as I've had it before I knew what I needed, antibiotics. He lay me flat on a black leather doctor's bed and had a look into my throat and concluded that I had a throat infection - no shit sherlock! Next he said "doctor need to take blood, find out what infection is and doctor can treat well". I was thinking, 'fuck me why does he need to take blood, how is he going to find out what it is without sending it to a lab', but I let him take it anyway. Then he disappeared into a room for about 10 minutes with my blood sample and returned announcing the latin name of my infection by which time I was pretty sure he was a fake quack with a few psychological issues.

All the same, I let him continue as my throat was fucked and I needed it sorted. Next on the bill was an antibiotics injection.... i was shitting my self at this point as I thought it was standard practise to give out a week's worth of tablets. I let him continue as this is Thailand and not the UK and he pulled out a massive needle with loads of yellowish liquid inside. The needle must've been an inch and a half long and I was sure it was going to be a lethal injection and I'd be on Sky News in a couple of days. I don't mind injections but I have to say this one was a fecking killer, I mean it was totally painful and uncomfortable. He gave me 3 different types of tablet and said I had to come back for another injection at 6pm!!! For fuck's sake!

I hobbled off to meet Kev who was pissing himself as I couldn't really walk or sit still. We sat in the sun for a bit before I headed back for injection number 2. Dr then pulled my shorts down to reveal a massive bruise where the first injection went in and chuckled to himself "oh dear doctor mistake" while pulling out another massive needle full of lethal injection! In my mind, that sort of vocabulary should simply not be allowed in the medical world. Injection number 2 was even more painful than the first and I hobbled off with my tail between my legs hoping to stay alive for the next 24 hours..... The whole experience cost me about 100 GBP and a couple of bruises but it was worth it as I'm back to full health now!

By this time we were both ready for a change of scenery and we booked travel and accommodation for Ko Samui for 2 nights even though we were warned that it is the biggest shit hole since Stockton town centre.