From Ko Pangan we took a small ferry from the port closest to our hotel at Haad Rin. The sun was shining and we were feeling hopeful at the prospect of new surroundings and some new discoveries. Hope that remained unextinguished until the sun went down and we discovered the real Samui.
The ferry ride took about an hour and we arrived in Samui having benefited from about an hour's sun to top up our tans. We jumped in a taxi with a couple of British lads and arrived safely at our new hotel, AKWA. We were greeted by Shane, an Australian, who appeared to be a nice chap bringing us up to speed on local amenities and hotel procedures... later we found out he was a useless twat but that's of no interest really.
It was about a 5 minute walk to our room which was located in AKWA 2. The room was awesome, except for a double bed again, with a DVD player, hot shower, air con.. really good for the price. We got showered and had a look out to the beach. We stayed on Chewang beach which is the most popular resort in Samui. The beach is about 6k long and stretches as far as the eye can see. We went on a reccy and first impressions were that Samui is pretty cool despite what everyone says and we were pretty happy with everything we saw. We took in some sun, had a few drinks and took a wander back to the hotel to get ready to check out the nightlife.
Come evening time, my impression of Samui had changed from 'contemporary Thai paradise' to' biggest shit hole I've ever had the pleasure of frequenting'. For me, 4 things sum up Samui: Whores, Tailors, Hawkers and Taxis. Let's start with the tailors..... So in Samui, there are more tailors than in Bangkok, New York and London put together, I mean there's shit loads of them. Not many are of Thai origin but ALL of them are standing in the street touting for business. "This is the right place for you sir, come inside 5 minute". The first tailor to stop us was met by two very patient, outgoing and enthusiastic British travellers... The last tailor was lucky he didn't get his face smashed in....
The first guy had a chat with us and both of our responses were similar, "we're traveling, we haven't got room in our back packs etc etc". I mean, why would anyone want to by a shitty suit when their traveling, it just defies all logic for me. Even though the nice chap said he could post the suit back to us we both politely declined and said we might have a look back tomorrow. Two minutes later, we're having the same conversation with another tailor, then another, then another... you get the picture, there's loads of these annoying little fuckers. They even shake your hand and don't let go. The only way to avoid such a confrontation is to ignore them completely, and then they have the cheek to act offended. I changed my behaviour towards them before Kev who was a bit more patient. My tact was something like this: Tailor - "sir, this is the right place for you, come inside 5 minute"; Me - "why, do you serve food? we're going for something to eat. so unless you serve food how the fuck is this the right place for me dick head"..... Anyway, that's not exactly how I want to behave overall so I think you might start to get the picture as to why we only stayed for 2 nights, 2 nights in Hell!
No need to elaborate on the other major annoyances. Hawkers aren't too bad, you get used to every taxi driver beeping at you and shouting "taxi, taxi" even after you have just stepped out of one. Whores you can put up with for a while but there were no other bars to drink in except a couple of scabby English pubs which aren't exactly what we're looking for. So in summary, there's fuck all to do on Chewang beach unless you're looking to pay for sex, get a new suit, buys some shit off a hawker or get a taxi ride.
We gave Samui the benefit of the doubt on the last day and hired mopeds to ride around the island. The island really is beautiful with loads of long sandy beaches and quiet resorts. I guess if you're looking for a really quiet holiday, staying in one place, Samui might be worth a look. The best part was when we found a small town with a big port call Lipa Noi. There wasn't a westerner in sight and we stumbled upon an open air food market, got some Thai food and sat and took in the surroundings, that's what travelling is about to me, not commercialised shite you can see in the UK. The rest of the evening was pretty awful and we were both looking forward to making tracks to Ko Toa the following day.
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